I had to share.

And no, for once with that subject line, it's not a horribly gross thing.

I don't know if it's possilble to convey how this struck me. Eric Alfred Burns, not being someone I have ever met, is not someone I could describe as a friend - but I first 'met' him going through In Nomine mailing lists (where he signed his emails with his name, but his email proclaimed him to be Whistling In The Dark), and I liked his style of writing. Then (on a day I always think of as the Day of In Nomine Coincidence) I stumbled across Websnark, and when I found out it was actually penned by the same guy, I thought 'cool'. (The Day of In Nomine Coincidence also pointed me at Obsidian Wings, which is apparently run by Moe Lane, a delightfully wacked out In Nomine creator. As if naming the site after Malakim wasn't enough. I make no guarantees for quality of site, though, as I've largely ignored it since stumbling across it.)

So I've been reading Websnark for a while, and even gone onto reading Gossamer Commons, a webcomic he writes. And so I feel I know this guy, even though we've never met and he has never, ever heard of me.

And then he writes this. Which is such a brilliantly written slice of life that the guy wrote while he was trying to keep from thinking or sleeping. Maybe you'll check it and think, 'yeah, whatever'. Maybe I'll read it tomorrow and think the same thing (though I doubt it).

But here, and now, it has brought out the Keanu Reaction.

Whoah.

That is all.

Heh

The working life

It now appears that I have a full-time job (for the time being at least). I'm currently engaged in day two of a fifteen day training period with the ATO (this is a computer, this is a mouse, this is a telephone), and I'm trying very hard not to be driven out of my mind. I'm sure that all that they're teaching us is very important, but so far, it's been all I can do not to fall asleep.

Oh well, I assume it'll get better eventually.

Padme shouldn't have died until Episode IV.

Tis funny.

Aliens are among us

Can you deny this proof? 

Too stupid to live?

Two hurt in mock light sabre duel

Two Star Wars fans are in a critical condition in hospital after apparently trying to make light sabres by filling fluorescent light tubes with petrol.

More here. Further proof that some people shouldn't be allowed out of the house without supervision.

Fire up your Amazon account Nick

Amazon.com: Books: Finding Serenity : Anti-Heroes, Lost Shepherds and Space Hookers in Joss Whedon's Firefly (Smart Pop series)

It's a funny old game for a reason

I think I just finished watching one of the best games of football I've ever seen. No, I'm not talking about Origin I (although that was pretty fun). I'm referring to the Champions League Final that was played this morning between Liverpool and AC Milan.

At the end of the first 45 minutes, I was really regretting getting up at 4:30am to watch it. Liverpool were down 3-0, having conceded the first goal within two minutes of the start of the match and a further two more before the end of the half. Milan had really given Liverpool a masterclass in football, blowing them off the pitch with their pace and accuracy of passing. To make matters worse, one of Liverpool's best attacking players, the perpetually crocked Harry Kewell had barely lasted 20 minutes before limping off with another groin injury.

At the end of the first half, I'd resigned myself to sitting through the second half of the match as Milan continued to dominate a distinctly lacklustre Liverpool team. But following the break, something miraculous happened. In ten frenetic minutes, Liverpool managed to claw back Milan's three goal lead and tie the game up at 3-3.

The rest of the half was a bit of an arm wrestle. And the subsequent 30 minutes of extra time seemed to leave the players physically exhausted. In all honesty, Milan should have won the game in the final minutes of extra time if not for a miraculous double save by Liverpool's keeper Jerzy Dudek from Andriy Shevchenko, European Footballer of the Year, from barely a metre out.

So on it went to penalties - one of the cruelest ways to end a match that had been running for 120 minutes. Unlike their triumph two years ago, AC Milan were unable to come out on top, leaving Liverpool to to win on penalties 3-2, and giving them their fifth European Cup.

From dead and buried to European Champions in a 75 minute turn-around. What a game. The only problem now is that UEFA have to decide whether Liverpool will be allowed to defend their title next season. Logic would dictate they be allowed to do so, but as the rules currently stand, no nation can have more than four teams in the Champions League and Liverpool finished the domestic campaign in a disappointing fifth place. But then again - as the result of the game would indicate, logic has never really played a part in football.

Update - I love it when it all goes wrong for the bookies.

ENGLISH bookmaker Ladbrokes has been hit hard by Liverpool's Champions League triumph.

More than 100 people backed the Merseysider at 100-1 to win at half-time when it trailed AC Milan 3-0.

Origin I

Thank christ for that.

Idle Auditions 4

Oh god - now they're all doing sing-alongs in the waiting room. What would these people do without American soul tunes.

11:30am and no-ones run screaming out of the building in tears yet - how disappointing. Bring back Dicko (if that's not an appropriate name for someone involved in this thing I don't know what is).

Sadly it doesn't appear that anyone is auditioning with a Pantera song (or similar soulful tune). For shame - some variety would have been nice.

How original - someones trying to cash in on the beatbox craze (I know - I didn't know there was one either until Channel V & B105 kept insisted there was one) - except this guy's twist is that he's using a didgeredoo (sp?) as well. Expect there to be controversy from this performer because - check it out - he's white.

Enough with the hand clapping people. If you can't keep a beat without physically moving your body, it's a good sign that you don't have a future in the music industry.

11:55am - my first tears. Finally. I guess I'm just a little sadistic.

I'm sorry Ma'am that we don't have big "Keep Out" signs plastered all over the areas we don't want you to wander into. I guess we should invest in skull & crossbone signs as well. But I would have thought the big red ropes you had to physically clamber over to get into that area migh have been warning enough you were going some place you shouldn't be.

It appears that mullets & copious ammounts of hair gel lead to success in this competition.

12:10pm - more tears. Only an hour more that I have to tolerate.

I like Alien Loves Predator

A quick recap, Preston the Predator just got glasses

Click the image to see it full size.

Idle Auditions 3

Wow - some people are really serious about this. They've even brought vocal coaches along.

I always find it amazing the number of singers who smoke like chimneys.

Met one sad case who has gotten through to this stage after three years of trying. Might have something to do with the cat ears & 6 inch cork platforms...

Hey - there's that Kyle twit. Wonder if I've got a copy of that Frenzel Rhomb interview I could play for him.

I think these jottings are some kind of therapy fo prevent good taste from kicking in & attempting to purge the lot of them.

Idle Auditions 2

I find it amusing that the first picture you see as you walk in for the auditions is not of any of the competition winners, but of last years runner up. The first poster of last years winner is virtually hidden behind a concrete pillar. Almost as if they're embarrassed by her...

I haven't seen this many bad trendy haircuts on both guys & girls since the last time I drove past Family at 1am.

If I walk around coughing loudly with my mouth uncovered with my cold, will I frighten half the contestants away?

It's not hard to pick out the novelty acts - those called back just for the "Hah Hah" bits on the inevitable audition special(s).

It's now 9:45am, and I think I've now been exposed to more Idle programming than I had been during the previous two years the show has been running.

Guys should not fold up the cuffs of their jeans (or jeans shorts for that matter).

Idle Auditions 1

Watching the queue of hopefulls line up & it appears that every second girl looks like Vicky Pollard from Little Britain.

And no wonder Tel$tra is sponsoring this - they're all crapping on on their mobiles.

More live reports to come - if I feel like it.

Bill Watterson

is a cartooning god. 

Favourite article of the day

The only rewarding part of seeing drunk hillbillies stumble into undeserved wealth is that they think millions of dollars just kinda shows up when you wish upon a rainbow. Based on the Economics degree I don’t have, that’s not how it works at all. Two years ago, her anus was every 15 year old boys secret playground and the cash just magically piled up. Now she’s a trampy drunken lump and it’s all about to go away.

What are they talking about? The ubiquitous reality tv show every washed up pop-tart seems to be in when they find their popularity disappearing quicker than their waistline expands.

Taste

You may be proud to be pregnant, but please spare a thought for the rest of us who have to be exposed to so much. 

I don't know whether to laugh or cry

I'm apparently working at the Australian Idol auditions on Wednesday. Either way it should be an interesting experience

The Bunny Suicides...Way funny

More Here
Here's a samples:

 

The problem when you bake cookies...

...is that it's too damn tempting to eat them all before you put them away. Nasty things.