A bunch of blokes with opinions on almost anything who aren't afraid to crap on about them to the world at large.
Sunday, July 31, 2005
Evidence Brisbane is still a small country town
However, while that was fun, it isn't the evidence I'm talking about.
I also need to mention the fact that I left my wallet on the bus a few weeks ago, and got a phone call from the bloke that found it the next morning. We met up in the city, he gave me my wallet, all contents intact, and I gave him back the cash that was in it (about $100). The cash was the least of my worries - I was just glad to avoid the hassle of replacing my driver's license, credit card, etc.
That's still not the evidence that Brisbane is still a small country town, though.
No, the evidence that Brisbane is still a small country town is that Andy, the bloke who found my wallet, plays cricket for Everton, and wound up playing on the same side as me in yesterday's scratch game. And that's just plain freaky.
There is something in their drinking water
Just have a look at the THE TESLA PURPLE ENERGY SHIELD™
...And also the The Psionic Kabbalah Manifesting Capsule™
The atomic structure of the outer shell of The Tesla Purple Energy Shield™ has been altered, allowing the atoms and electrons of the aluminum to resonate in tune with the basic energy that causes the particles of every atom and molecule to be in constant vibration. Once the structure of the atoms of the aluminum have been altered, they will remain in that condition- possibly indefinitely. The plates create a positive energy field around themselves that will penetrate any material substance by osmosis.
...
...
The Psionic Kabbalah Manifesting Capsule™ contains three unique elements to make it the most potent talisman or manifesting device we have designed to date. The Psionic Kabbalah Manifesting Capsule™ contains in printed form a mini scroll of the most sacred magickal formula of Kabbalah, the written formula of the 72 Names of God. The capsule also contains 'Aurum Solis' Ormus White Powder Gold (see link) which is a material of powerful healing ,spiritual enhancing and manifesting properties which acts as a subtle energy antenna enhancing the transmission and delivery of our intent to the creative centre of the universe. To bring immediate protection to its owner the capsule also contains a fragment of red string from Rachels Tomb in Jerusalem.
...
Saturday, July 30, 2005
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Please let this mean they'll release the cartoon on DVD
http://www.aeonflux.com/
Is this just NASA being reckless?
NASA ran more than 160 tests but has failed to explain what exactly caused the failure of one of the four hydrogen level sensors that prompted the last-minute cancelation of the July 13 launch.So what does this actually mean? Well the sensors in question notify of when to shut down the main engines (bear in mind that at this time the boosters are long gone). If this happens to early, because a guage malfunctioned, then the Shuttle most probably make it to orbit.
The space agency hopes to detect the root of the problem during last-minute testing while the shuttle's massive external tank is being filled.
If the problem reoccurs on the same sensor or another similar one and engineers have a clear understanding of the problem, the launch would go ahead as planned, said Wayne Hale, deputy manager of the space shuttle program.
But he insisted that if any other low fuel level sensors malfunctioned, the launch would be called off.
If you know there is a problem and 160 tests cannot isolate it is it really worth gambling wilth a third crew of people?
Full article here
Monday, July 25, 2005
A Very Australian Ad
The Big Ad
Saturday, July 23, 2005
Friday, July 22, 2005
Goths to the left of me, Goths to the right.....
The crowd outside, waiting for the gates to be unlocked. It must have been an interesting sight for passers-by.
Gaiman was doing what I can only assume was a promotional tour for his new book - Anansi Boys. I say presume, because due to the vagaries (some might say stupidity) of publishers in Australia, the book isn't due out here until October or November. Sad really.
The crowd waiting for the event to start.
Yes - here be pirates. Blurry pirates, but pirates none the less.
It's the man of the moment - in his trademark black shirt and jacket - being introduced.
Watching the man speak.
Still - he had a copy he was toting around from which he read Chapter 4 to us. It sounds pretty funny.
He speaks!
Following the speaking and Q&A session, there was the obligatory signing session. So naturally we joined the queue.
Almost an hour waiting and the queue didn't seem to want to move.
Still, after another twenty minuites or so, we started to get closer to the front of the queue, and got a decent sight of Gaiman.
Top-hats and black lace - yep - the Goths were out in force.
"What - you want me to sign this?"
Almost there. This was one of the two vapid Asian girls standing in front of us the whole night. Ther 'friend' with them proceeded to regale them with tales of how the SAS scours gun clubs throughout the country, searching for highly skilled marksmen to distribute secret passwords to which transform them into deadly killing machines. It was hard not to laugh out loud. I hope he was taking the piss...
Getting closer.
Even great artists have got to eat sometime. Although it was funny watching the organisers trying not to look impatient when there queue still seemed as long as it was at the start, and there was only half an hour left before everyone had to vacate the building.
And the end result? I got two of my books signed.
The books that were signed.
American Gods - the not-sequel sounds like fun.
Good Omens - now for Pratchett's signature.
Way funny
You'll never look at your desktop the same way again. All your favorites icons are unleashed in a byte-sized battle royale. Which one will rise victorious?
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Why is it....
....that whenever you're starting a University course, they never
lave the Study Guides and Course Materials books that the University
prints themselves ready for the first week of classes (or second
weeks, or third weeks...).....
Is it that hard to click print on an industrial printer when you've
alread got the sucker available for download?
Fantastic Four. I give it a 'Meh'.
THE GOOD:
The Thing was pretty good. Looked pretty good, played up more of the angsty 'I'm a big rock monster' than the 'I'm a cute and cuddly rock monster come to kick all nine of your asses'. (And you're quite right, you might only have one to start with, but you'll have nine when he's finished). That being said, he gets a few good lines, and looks great.
Jessica Alba. Not, because, you know, she acted well or had a good character. Just, you know, mmmmm, Jessica Alba.
THE MEH
Susan Storm. Apart from the mmmm, Jessica Alba, factor, a generally uninspiring character and performance. Oh, she's apparently a geneticist, which translates to 'translates a single piece of Reed's technobabble'. Brilliant.
Johnny "Human Torch X-TREME!" Storm. Now, characterwise, he's pretty spot on, and he even gets some lines and stuff that made me giggle. But the way they chose to show his rebellious hotheaded side? That's right. They went X-TREME. What's more, they didn't even seem to make it vaguely convincing that he was like this. One moment, he's chafing against the quarantine rules THE MAN imposes after being bombarded by weird ill-defined radiation. The next, obviously STICKING IT TO THE MAN, he's somehow hired a helicopter, gotten some ski gear together, found a woman somewhere and they go to the top of a mountain and start skiing down. Or she does, anyway, since Johnny's way too X-TREME to go skiing and obviously has to snowboard. Y'know, because he's X-TREME. And later, having found notoriety after the Four's 'triumphant' first public performance (where, as near as I can tell, he was seen to do NOTHING - even though that's not true) he apparently trades on his fame to rock up to a Crusty Demons of Dirt spectacular and they let him jump a bike all Fonzie-like. Obviously, the guys who organise that are so totally X-TREME they can recognise a fellow X-TREME guy right off the bat.
THE BAD.
Unfortunately, Victor Von Doom got handed a big spiky shaft in this one. Julian McMahon does a decent job with what he's got to work with - but the movie just doesn't do him justice. You see, instead of being an academic rival of Reed's whose face got disfigured in a lab accident he somehow blames Reed for, and then, being monarch of the small nation of Latveria, proceeds to like learn magic and dress up in a funky battlesuit to come and beat on the Four under cover of diplomatic immunity (yeah, real diplomatic, there, Latveria) - instead of all that, we have a dapper billionaire with ego issues. Who goes up into space with the Fantastic Four (but stays behind shielding like a pussy while the other four are trying to pull Ben back from a completely unexplained calculation whoopsie with the big energy thingo). Nonetheless, he begins to develop weird lightning powers and turn into metal. Oh, yeah, and he proposes to Sue Storm as well (and who can blame him? Mmmm, Jessica Alba). And Julian McMahon doesn't quite have the voice for Doom even once he's behind a metal mask.
THE SECOND TRUCK
Some things that don't make an awful lot of sense...
The energy cloud thingy that gives them their powers. Now, don't think that I'm chucking off at some good, solid, comic book rubber science here - I'm not. What I'm chucking off at is how it somehow sneaks up on them when they're not looking in defiance of all their calculations - which is never explained. Reed even goes so far as to say he's rechecked all the numbers, yada yada. Presumably they're trying to say something (possibly 'they got these powers for a reason") - but if so, I think they're saying it with marbles in their mouth while banging on a turd log with a sledgehammer.
The 'unveiling' scene, where the Four all first use their powers for the Greater Good. Admittedly, the problems all start when the Thing goes to try and save a guy who was just about to jump off a bridge, but there are a couple of things that gave me a 'Second Truck' moment.
They get Sue Storm to turn invisible and strip off so she can 'get through the crowd'. I mean, hey, I'm all for imaginary naked Jessica Alba, but I can get plenty of that for free, thank you. The weird part is when they show her visible again and putting the last of her clothing on (there's no visible naked Jessica Alba, all right?), Reed and Johnny are right there. Having had no apparent problems 'getting through the crowd'. Which makes me think of the following off-camera exchange.
Sue: You two got through just fine.
Johnny: Yup. Just shouldered through, we were okay.
Sue: But I had to go through going invisible and getting naked. Or so Reed said.
Reed: Estimating the ratio of your mass against the mass of the crowd, I thought your probability of success would be orders of magnitude larger if you went through invisibly.
Johnny: In other words, he just wanted to see if he could get you naked.
Reed: Well, yeah. Can't blame a guy for trying.
Sue: You knew, Johnny? And you didn't stop him?
Johnny: Why should I?
Sue: You're my brother? Ring any bells?
Johnny: Yeah, but you're also a smokin' hot babe. Heh. Get it? Smokin' hot. I can make my thumb into a cigarette lighter, you know.
Sue: I'll make your skull into a bowling ball. I'm your sister.
Johnny: Looked in the mirror lately? Sis, you're a walking advertisement for incest.
Reed: You know, incest is really not a very good idea. The probabilities -
Storms: Shut up, Reed.
The other second truck moment from this scene is that Johnny doesn't actually do any amazing Human Torch stuff - he shields a little girl from an explosion with his body, but that's it. Reed stretches, Thing does his Thing, Sue gets naked and then contains an explosion with a forcefield - but Johnny doesn't do anything amazingly superhuman. And somehow they get the name 'Fantastic Four' from this little fiasco.
Oh, and the Teleporting Thing from near the end. (As in 'continuity glitch leaving teleportation or flight as the only explanation', not actual teleportation.)
So it's not the sort of movie I want to gouge my eyeballs out after seeing (though I might if I was a big Dr. Doom fan). It's just a superhero movie that doesn't live up to the fairly recent standard of superhero movies like X-Men, Spider-Man, and Batman Begins.
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Sunday, July 17, 2005
Anyone interested?
Time: 7.00 for 7.30pm
Format of event - Neil to talk, do a bit of a q&a, then sign (3 ITEMS per person). His new book, MIRRORMASK on sale, along with backlist and we're taking preorders - at a special, discounted, on-the-night price for ANANSI BOYS.
Enquires tel no: Pulp Fiction Booksellers, 07 3236 2750
Venue:
The Atrium,
Anzac Square Building (Pulp Fiction's building!),
Edward Street
Brisbane
Cost: $15.00 - food and wine provided.
Are bookings required? ESSENTIAL!!! Ticketed event - admission by ticket only!!! Please note only 3 items per person can be signed.
Saturday, July 16, 2005
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Scientist finds billion-dollar frog
The Crucifix Frog
Mike Tyler discovered the unusual abilities of the notaden frog - also known as the holy cross frog or crucifix frog - by accident.Full Article Here
He found that the "big, fat and lumbering" creature - commonly found in Australia's driest areas -- secretes a fast-drying "frog-glue" when under attack.
...
"I was collecting these frogs and they excreted this material over my fingers" Professor Tyler, from Adelaide, said yesterday.
After numerous attempts to wash the sticky substance off his fingers, Mr Tyler eventually had to scrape it off with a knife.
Must Have Been a METRIC_TO_IMPERIAL_CONVERSION_ERROR
Shuttle launch postponed
NASA today delayed the launch of its first space shuttle mission since the 2003 Columbia disaster after discovering a problem with one of the shuttle's fuel sensors, NASA's launch commentator said.
"We will not be able to fly today," commentator George Diller said.
Discovery was fuelled and ready to launch as planned at 0551 AEST when the problem with the liquid hydrogen fuel sensor occurred at 0332 AEST.
The sensor is one of four that detects fuel levels when the tank is nearly empty.
The astronauts had just been strapped into their spaceship when mission controllers called off the launch.
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Heh. Heh. Hehehhhehhheh.
Paris snubs Cruise
IT seems Tom Cruise' wacky behaviour is turning off more than his fans - whole cities are now declaring him persona non grata.
The Paris city hall has pledged "never to welcome" the actor to the city of love - all because of his membership of the Church of Scientology.
In a debate late yesterday, the Socialist-controlled municipal assembly approved a resolution "never to welcome the actor Tom Cruise, spokesman for Scientology and self-declared militant for this organisation".
NASA are at it again: Shuttle damaged ahead of lift-off
A PLASTIC cover has fallen off a window on the space shuttle Discovery, causing some damage to the orbiter on the eve of the planned launch.
NASA said it hoped to fix the problem swiftly.
The protective cover, which is taken off before the launch, fell about 20 meters onto one of the shuttle's two orbital maneuvering systems (OMS), which are used once the craft is in orbit.
Some of the tiles on the edge of the OMS were damaged in the incident, NASA manager for Discovery preparations Stephanie Stilson said.
Advertisement:
"I have been assured it can be fixed quickly and then we can move on," she said.
"There is plenty of time to work out an issue like this."
Discovery remains scheduled to take-off at 5:51 am (AEST) tomorrow, marking the first space shuttle flight since the February 2003 Columbia tragedy.
Lesson for the day
For the love of god, if you're submitting your tax return via E-Tax, please
print the bloody thing out and check it first. You will have made a
mistake, and the only way to fix it once you've lodged via E-Tax, the only
way to change what you've sumbitted is via an Ammendment (56 days to
process buddy).
So check before you click. You will have stuffed up . Trust me.
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Would you not be suspicious...
..if you worked full-time for an employer for twelve months, andthey told you that they didn't bother giving their employees payslips during the year. Wouldn't that set off your something fishy detector?
BB bad for the brain
IT is official: watching Big Brother is bad for you.
Psychologists testing viewers who tuned in to the British show for just six hours found alarming side effects in their mental health, including increased levels of anxiety, depression and hostility.
Yet when the same guinea pigs were asked to watch daytime TV as an experimental control, they reported virtually no ill effects.
Glasgow Caledonian University researchers specialising in television-related research, were commissioned to carry out the study by London's Mail on Sunday newspaper.
Advertisement:
The subjects watched Big Brother for two hours a day for three days.
Monday, July 11, 2005
Set Phasers to Stun
DoE Seeks Star Trek Phasers For A-Plants
The Department of Energy is turning to old Star Trek phasers to protect its 103 civilian nuclear plants.
Energy weapons capable of harmlessly stunning intruders are being developed and should be in general use by 2008. But many experts warn they will be inadequate and unnecessary for the real security dangers nuclear plant guards would face.
Sunday, July 10, 2005
I want one
Saturday, July 09, 2005
London, July 7 Comments from Steve Jackson
Friday, July 08, 2005
Why do people who ring for advice...
..never have a fricking pen ready to write down said information when I give it to them.
Thursday, July 07, 2005
The Efficiency of the Austrlian Government
I have received a rejection letter for this job. No great surprise. What is a surprise is that the letter is dated 30 June 2005, or maybe this also is not a surprise.
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Sunday, July 03, 2005
Tony Jaa's next
A young fighter named Kham must go to Australia to retrieve his stolen elephant. With the help of a Thai-born Australian detective, Kham must take on all comers, including a gang led by an evil woman and her two deadly bodyguards.