Friday, October 31, 2003

'Dis 'n 'Dat

"THE ULTIMATE CD SPEED LIMIT!" - how fast can you spin a CD before it explodes?
Spank the Monkey! - try it - it's fun.
When I first saw this headline I figured, "Sure, I guess it's a service I can do for the community" - but then this headline showed that I wouldn't be required. Ahh - the life of the Hollywood celebrity...
A few of the thingsabout the Wachowski Brothers you probably didn't need to know.
And finally, Like Jailbat?
Dirver Test Results
Safety: 75 % (vs 67.69%)
Aggressiveness: 55 % (vs 57.66%)
Courtesy: 52.5 % (vs 74.28%)
Rage: You are a Potential Road Rager: 67.5 % (vs 53.74%)

and yes...most other drivers are FUCKING MUPPETS! Who drive too fucking slow...probably because their brain isn't capable of understanding that if you put your foot on the tall, skinny pedal on the right the car will go faster. They also can't comprehend what an idicator is for and are too busy fucking around with their mobile phone to care.

oooh....look...a Micro-(G)Rant
**** TRANSMISSION INITIATED ****

Also: lateley, when driving though the Waterworks road carpark of a morining, there have been a lot of fuckwits who can't understand how to merge. It's not that hard, the one in front has the right of way. But half of the fucking wankers that I see refuse to let people in.

For example I am pulling up with the nose of my car just in front of the rear of the car to my right (as I am typically in the left lane at this point). The wanker next to me does not want to lose 1 place and pulls up as close as he can to the car in front forgetting the fact that I legally have the right of way! Well lucky for me I know how to drive better than most people so I can move quicly when the car in front moves 3 meters and can point the nose ofmy car in. Now, my car is routinely unwashed, so it looks like I don't care about it much (untrue), so the other driver must quickly weigh-up whether I care more about my car they he/she/it/executive/houewife does about theit BMW/Mercedes/WRX/wagon.

Having to do this is just further proof that people in Brisbane HAVE NO FUICKING IDEA ON HOW TO MERGE! This just makes it take way longer than it needs to to get anywhere...it also does not help that a lot of merges are only 20 meters (or less) in length.

You have just been reading another Brain Fart from Grant
****TRANSMISSION TERMINATED****
While gaming let us hope that we do not come accross any of these:

But maybe some of these:

The great thing about democracy is that it gives every voter a chance to do something stupid.
-- Art Spander

Group 5 likely to disconnect $90m Telstra deal
Telstra is set to lose its $90 million outsourcing contract with the federal government’s Group 5 agencies in the wake of a serious security breach involving the loss of backup tapes from the Department of the Prime Minister and Cabinet (PMC).

On Branding and Copyright--Open Source For Entrepeneurs
Grant, got a link for TNN - it's an article about copyright and branding of open source software, which I thought you might be interested in - Kris

Mac Supercomputer Just Got Faster
The first supercomputer made from a cluster of Macs is on track to become the world's third-fastest machine, according to the latest test results. Leander Kahney reports from the O'Reilly Mac OS X Conference in Santa Clara, California.

I, Cringely: Catch the Wave: Why the Next Big Wave of Computing Might Be Inspired by Bees
The size is smaller, but the scope is bigger, with the result that I believe a startup in St. Louis, MO, called Tsunami Research, which is taking the idea of distributed computing about as far as anyone can imagine.

Sun delivers yet another shot at Earth
As Earth's magnetic field weathered a strong solar shock wave this week, the sun unleashed another powerful flare that could herald more geomagnetic storms on Thursday.

'Smart' Wings Made Pterosaurs Agile Flyers
Scientists have used CAT scans, a staple of modern hospitals, to peer inside the heads of extinct reptiles known as pterosaurs, the first flying vertebrates to emerge during the age of the dinosaurs. The findings, published today in the journal Nature, indicate that a specialized brain and inner ear structure allowed the creatures to fly and hunt down prey successfully.

World Beard and Moustache Championships

This. Is. Wrong. Plain Wrong.



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Avenging Green Seahorse Industries

Thursday, October 30, 2003

What sort of driver am I?


Some odd(ish) results here...

What sort of driver am I?


Some odd(ish) results here...

Safe: 85%
Marginally Aggressive: 50%
Courteous: 75%
Fairly Calm Driver: 37.5%

Okay, now I think I'm a pretty safe driver, personally. Marginally aggressive, yeah. Courteous, I'd like to think so. But fairly calm? *blink* I guess they didn't ask about my attitude to red lights. Sometimes when I'm driving I just mouth off a huge string of invective at other drivers, traffic in general, whoever the genius was who programmed a main road to stop traffic every second set of lights... stuff like that.

And given that the writers of the test seemed to think we drove on the wrong side of the road, that was a little off-putting as well. *shrug*

I don't know why I'm worrying about online tests, though. Hell, according to one, I'm Yoda.

I wish. 'Judge me not by my size' wouldn't just be a lame line, then.

I think I've said too much, now.

What sort of driver are you?

Take the test and find out!

As for me, I am:
   Safe: 72.5% (v. 67.69%)
   Marginally Aggressive: 55% (v. 57.66%)
   Very Courteous: 87.5% (v. 74.28%)
   A Potential Road Rager: 45% (v. 53.74%)

(test averages are in brackets)
Laser Diagnostics the USS Enterprise tested in a wind tunnnel.

Disappointing News

According to The Gematriculator, this website is rated
This site is certified 57% GOOD by the Gematriculator
and only
This site is certified 43% EVIL by the Gematriculator

Would You Miss This Meeting?


Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.
-- George Burns

NASA's Earth Observatory Shows Solar Flare
Photos here

Processing at the Speed of Light
An Israeli startup has developed a processor that uses optics instead of silicon, enabling it to compute at the speed of light

Wired balls to enhance play
A SMART cricket ball that can help analyse a bowler's performance will begin field trials soon.

Radio tags for Hunter Holdens
The Hunter Holden dealership group will tag every vehicle it sells with radio frequency identification (RFID) technology as it overhauls its dealer management systems.

Green Tea and Ginger Show New Cancer-Combating Abilities
The potential health benefits of drinking green tea are varied, ranging from preventing bad breath to protecting your heart. Recent studies have also suggested that a topical cream based on the beverage may help fend off skin cancer.

Congressmen want NASA to ax space plane
Two leading members of the House Science Committee are urging NASA to defer its developing space plane program because of concerns about cost and the potential benefit of the craft.

Shuttle crew added to U.S. space memorial
The names of the seven Columbia astronauts who died in February were added to a national memorial at the Kennedy Space Center in Florida.

Microsoft Fires Mac Fan For Blog Photo
Microsoft has fired a full-time temp employee after it discovered that the employee posted in his blog a photo and story concerning Microsoft's purchase of what looks to be around 18 G5s.

Sun seals state deal
SUN has cut a deal with the NSW Government in hopes of getting its software on more of the state's computers.

Sun rising on the desktop
First look at Java Desktop System shows it has potential

Brothel-on-wheels hits the road
The sign on the front of the bus read ``Come try something different with us'' but police in Istanbul say the four people running Turkey's first brothel-on-wheels may be breaking the law.

Police Officer Jailed over Star Jumps
A Florida police officer has resigned because of allegations that he allowed a pair of teenagers to avoid arrest by doing topless jumping jacks.

SCO Madness Reigns Supreme

SCO: IBM cannot enforce GPL
Free Software Foundation is the only entity that can enforce the GPL, SCO officials say.





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A wholly subsidiary of
Screaming Blue Wombat Inc. /
Avenging Seahorse Industries

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

eBay item 3146042998 (Ends Sep-22-03 08:37:31 PDT) - Collection of 26 Beanie Babies from Ex-Wife - You must read the sale description.

Kids these days... they don't know how good they've got it.


The concept is simple. Get a bunch of 'classic' videogames. Give 'em to a bunch of twelve-year-olds to play. See what they think.

The answer is here.

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

Oddball SCO Theory

A novel theory I saw mentioned today over on Groklaw. That IBM is bankrolling SCO, and setting them up to be the fall guys in a case that will finally get rid of the claim that "the GPL has never been tested in court." (Why has it never been tested in court? Because the alleged violator has always caved in and settled first). Anyway, the idea isn't likely, but then, the apparent incompetence of the lawyers handling SCO's case isn't likely, either. . .

Good Boy Hollywood

Now, it's not often that I'll praise Hollywood for showing something close to sense, but on this occasion I'll give them their due. MGM has just announced that they won't be going ahead with the Jinx spin-off from the last Bond movie - Die Another Day. You know Jinx - the horrible character played by Halle "I'm as emotional as a block of wood but I've got breasts and I'm not afraid to show them" Berry. Now call me cynical, but when Eon and MGM can't even make a half-decent Bond movie at the moment (I'd almost agree with some who claim The Rock was the last good Bond movie...), you'd be better spending your time improving the quality of your main film series rather than trying to spin off half-arse characters into their own movie series (look Token, just because you've won one of those little gold statues doesn't mean you can really act or actually deserved it - just ask Mira Sorvino...)

Then again, if anyone is a Bond fan, they'd remember we've been down this road before with proposed spin-off's. Except the last one wasn't a spy who's main qualification was how well she filled out a swim-suit... Thinking about it, the only recent Bond Girl who didn't have a spin off movie attached to her was the delightful Dr Christmas Jones. Possibly because her cup size was bigger than her IQ? I don't really know...

I think I'll sign off with a silly picture now.

No problem is so formidable that you can't walk away from it.
-- Charles M. Schulz

The Ten Most Abused Words in Tech
Overused words not only make us wince, but they can confuse and obfuscate as well. We run down the top 10 offenders.

NVIDIA calls the kettle black
Graphics chip maker NVIDIA has called on the graphics card industry to halt the common practice of optimising graphics drivers for benchmarks only, and only to optimise drivers where benefits are seen in both computer games and benchmarks.

How spammers are targeting blogs
Technology analyst Bill Thompson has been getting lots of comments on his weblogs, unfortunately most of the want to sell him Viagra. He has been "flyblogged".

Microsoft launches Office 2003
MICROSOFT has launched the newest version of its Office software in New York, kicking off a $US150 million ($214 million) ad campaign in hopes of convincing customers to upgrade.

Special report: The birth of Samba
In this ZDNet Australia special report, the creator of the open source file-sharing software Samba, Andrew Tridgell, explains how he came to write the software that has earned him Bulletin magazine's Smartest 100 award in the ICT sector for 2003.

I, Cringely: How Microsoft's Misunderstanding of Open Source Hurts Us All
This week, speaking at a Gartner conference in Orlando, Florida, Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer said some fascinating things about Linux and about Open Source software in general. And thanks to those remarks and the blinding realization they caused for me, I finally understand exactly why Microsoft doesn't understand Open Source.

EU Tries to Force MS to Compete
The European Commission is trying to avoid the same pitfalls that tripped up the United States in its Microsoft case, where business practices judged illegal three years ago still linger.

Linux Is the Enterprise Operating System
Linux's day as a mainstream enterprise server operating system isn't coming. It's arrived, says eWEEK.com Linux & Open Source Center Editor Steven J. Vaughan-Nichols.


SuSE signs up key software partner
SuSE Linux has enlisted the backing of server-software maker Veritas Software, an important step in supporting the needs of business computing and keeping up with top Linux seller Red Hat.

SCO & UNIX: A Comedy of Errors
With the recent announcement by Novell that SCO does not own the copyrights and patents to UNIX, SCO's aggressive legal campaign is losing air fast. It is beginning to look like classic farce.
SCO v. IBM Part Deux
Much Sound and Fury, Little Enlightenment

Should UnitedLinux Boot SCO?
UnitedLinux, formed with high hopes and a spirit of cooperation, now appears to be anything but united. The umbrella group of four Linux vendors is a house divided, an organization whose members seem to be at cross purposes with each other.



Long March 4B Satellite Launch

Seen here, the Long March 4B rocket lifts off from the Taiyuan Satellite Launch Center in north China's Shanxi Province at 11:16 p.m. EDT (0316 GMT). Its main cargo arrived in orbit 13 minutes later and a second, smaller Chinese spacecraft was ejected 40 seconds after that.



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A wholly subsidiary of
Screaming Blue Wombat Inc. /
Avenging Seahorse Industries

INTERESTING FACTS
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Do not try this at home...... maybe at work.)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes... lucky pig... can you imagine??)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm........)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(OK, so that would be a good thing....)

A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)

Monday, October 27, 2003

New Document - A Feast of Crows sample chapter - may interest Mr Coghlan.

Word to the Wise

When you're using w.bloggar to post to the blog and you recieve a time out error message once you've finished your post and clicked on the Post button, don't assume the error message means nothing has been posted. Otherwise you might just find out you've posted the same diatribe three or four times in a row, like I just did.... Thankfully there's such as function as delete post...

Arthurian Movies

Hollywood has an obsession with taking classic stories and screwing them up completely. A constant example of this fascination is the way Hollywood continually manages to screw up the Arthurian legend (who needs Excalibur when you're doing the story of King Arthur.....). When you look back through the history of attempts to translate this story to the screen, there's probably only been one attempt - Excalibur - which has has proven to be in any way watchable (no Josh - I'm not counting Holy Grail - it's meant to be a farce).

There's a movie on the horizon which has a good chance of breaking this trend of crappiness. King Arthur - a film which is set, not during the usual knights in shining armour middle ages, but during the period of the 5th and 6th centuries when the Roman Empire was disintergrating.

Not only do you get Clive Owen (the man who should be the next Bond) and Ioan Gruffudd (the star of the excellent Hornblower TV Movies - exploding powder monkeys everywhere!) charging around in Roman armour kicking all sorts of arse,

you also get Keira Knightley charging around in blue paint and.... well the picture kind of says it all...

Check out some more pictures here. To quote Clive Owen on the film
'What appealed to [Clive Owen] was the script. "It's a new take on the whole King Arthur story -- unlike anything you've ever seen before," he says. "What I didn't realize is that King Arthur is actually a myth that developed over hundreds of years and has been slowly pieced together. "There's this sort of romantic vision of Arthur. Our version is set earlier than it's usually set. We have it at 500 A.D. as opposed to medieval times. Basically, the Roman empire is crumbling.

"I play Arthur, who is half-Roman," Owen says. "He's a commander of a crack team of military knights who, at the beginning of the movie, gets the mission from hell -- to go into dangerous, unknown territory and rescue a family as the Saxons are invading by the thousands, and the rebels are out there fighting. Meanwhile, Arthur has always held onto Rome as something he wants to return to and something he reveres, but it keeps changing."' (Again emphasis added by me)
Downside - it's got useless lump-of-wood Joel ("I'm Owen Lars and this is my gurlfriend Beru" useless exposition) Edgerton in it. Hopefully he dies in a gory mess of swords and arrows....

On another note - some of you may have heard of another movie The Passion of Christ (formerly known as The Passion), which has stirred a fair bit of controversy up amongst the Seppo's for being anti-Semetic for daring to suggest that the Jews of the time were in some way responsible for having Jesus put to death by the Romans.... Anyway check out this story from CNN
Lightning strikes Gibson's 'Christ'
ROME, Italy -- Actor Jim Caviezel, who plays Jesus in Mel Gibson's controversial film "The Passion of Christ" was struck by lightning during shooting.
While that's kind of funny, this is my favourite part of the story
An assistant director on the film, Jan Michelini, was also hit -- for the second time in a few months (Added emphasis mine)>
Some wags have of course suggest that God might be trying to say something here.....





BEST ALBUM COVER. EVER.

A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.
-- Granville Hicks

I Believe You Have My Stapler!
Up the Revolution: The Red Stapler! Staple and be heard! WHAM-cubicles! WHAM-dress code! WHAMWHAMWHAM! By popular demand, we?re offering this desk stapler in screaming, gleaming red. Use with caution (unless you?re the boss).


Remember how the Americans spent a crap load of cash developing a pen that would work in space while the Russians sent their crews up with pencils? Well recent experiments prove that Normal ball point pens work fine in space
Duque has discovered that "ordinary" pens work just fine in space and that the famous American versions that use a pressurized ink source may be a little overkill.:

Finland creates €1m tech prize
FINLAND, known for its high-tech economy, has set up a €1 million ($1.67 million) prize to be awarded for the first time next year to recognise international achievements in technology.

Widescreen Wonder
For $2,999 you can give your desktop a makeover unlike any other. Running at a stunning 1920 x 1200-pixel resolution, LG Electronics' FLATRON LCD L2320A monitor is bold, black, and bodacious.

Study suggests life sprang from clay
A team at the Howard Hughes Medical Institute and Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston said they had shown materials in clay were key to some of the initial processes in forming life.

Cloud of solar gas strikes our planet
Scientists tracking heightened solar activity in recent days reported some commercial airlines have had to make adjustments to their high-frequency communications, or in some cases switch to alternate satellite systems.

'Naked' Miss Afghanistan slammed
PRESIDENT Hamid Karzai's minister for women's affairs yesterday condemned Miss Afghanistan, as Vida Samadzai became the country's first woman in the post-Taliban era to appear in a bikini during a beauty contest in Manila.



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A wholly subsidiary of
Screaming Blue Wombat Inc. /
Avenging Seahorse Industries

Friday, October 24, 2003

Fuck Clown Fish! I want a tank with Seahorses and Seadragons....they look cool.






Jaco Strauss' Tech Support Excuse Generator - This could have been useful for Grant at work ;)
Mr T In Your Pocket - iwantitcheaper.com

Movies Need More Of This!!!


Was I the only one who was laughing at seemingly inapprotriate moments during this movie?

Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.
-- G. K. Chesterton

Strong Solar Storm Could Buffet Earth Friday
A strong dose of space weather is forecast to hit Earth Friday, potentially disrupting satellite communications and posing a threat to power grids on Earth.
Solar burst could scramble phones, power lines
Satellites, pagers, cell phones, and electrical grids could be affected Friday by a moderately powerful ejection of magnetic material from the sun.

Is NASA at it again?
NASA safety experts opposed latest ISS mission
NASA's latest mission to the International Space Station (ISS) was approved despite experts' concerns about the "the continued degradation" of equipment at the orbital outpost.
Station crew downplays health concerns
During a just-concluded in-flight press conference the commander of the Expedition Eight crew, Mike Foale, said he has no concerns about the health of the crew despite issues raised before their launch about health monitoring equipment aboard the outpost.

Bill's a little pissed that people want to use something else: A shut Gates on open source
In an interview with The Australian at the Microsoft Office System launch in New York, Mr Gates said any such moves by government were wrongheaded and would result in a reduction in public sector productivity. "Forcing people to use software that is inefficient? Do you want your Government to be efficient?"
My question is how does rebotting 4 times a day imporve effieciency. If Gates wanted to improve efficiency then he would have outlook improved as it is the target of 90% of virii and have Exchange fixed. Both of these couse a shitload of problems for sysadmins, especially when Exchange just stops working because it hqas consumed all the available hard drive space.

SuSE goes after Exchange
SuSE is trying to cut deeper into the market share of Microsoft's Exchange Server e-mail system by rolling out a version of Openexchange that features improved server support for Windows Outlook users.

Europe issues open source migration tips
A European Commission initiative has issued guidelines to member governments on how to migrate to open source software on both servers and desktops.

Red Hat overhauls flagship Linux
Dominant Linux seller Red Hat has begun offering the newest incarnation of its product for business customers, a version that opens several new markets for the company.

A sad day for Alpha Nerds Swan song for Alpha processor
The Alpha processor -- the 64-bit machine on life support for much of its tormented lifetime -- has finally been placed on death row. “When it was introduced by Digital Equipment Corp in November of 1992, it was the fastest chip on the planet,” said Terry Shannon, a computer industry consultant who watched the processor grow from conception at the Digital Equipment to its adolescence at Compaq Computer to its final resting place at HP. “The new server still goes like a bat out of hell. If you have to have an end of the line, it's better to go out with a bang than with a whimper.”

Sun and Fujitsu to combine Unix server businesses - report
The Nihon Keizai Shimbun is reporting that Sun and Fujitsu plan to standardize their Unix server architectures and have a Fujitsu subsidiary manufacture the gear. Both companies currently make Sparc/Solaris servers, which would make combining their operations a complementary move.

I thought that this was a rather smart ad banner:



This guy needs a few pointers ;~]


Pandas should be forced to perform in circuses!
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