A different view of the Olympics

Olympic Insanity

The Bourne Supremacy

Good movie.
Tough taxi.
Imagine taking a rolled up magazine to a knife fight... and winning.
Not good for people with travel sickness.
...and they remembered the limp.

heh

[Listening to: Girls - The Prodigy - Always Outnumbered Never Outgunned (4:13)]

PaperFormers

This is nuts. This site contains PDF files of Transformers and Deceptocons that can be cut out, folded and assembled into a paper model...then, apparently, they can transform!

Fark Photoshop: All your base.

This is the complete list soted by votes and here are two favourites:

The MSN Logo

Here is a document on all the crap you couln't care about the MSN logo

Apparently Jet Blast is Powerful

Apparently Jest Blast is a real problem as portrayed by this Staged Demonstration

Be Afraid

[Listening to: Gasoline - Audioslave - Audioslave (4:39)]

The REAL Great Escape

I did a littel bit of research into the real Great Escape, the event upon which the Steve McQueen/James Garner movie is based. While doing so I came across a bill of materials used to construct the three tunnels ('Tom', 'Dick' and 'Harry'):
4,000 bed boards; 1,370 beading battens; 1,699 blankets; 161 pillow cases; 635 palliasses; 34 chairs; 52 20-man tables; 90 double tier bunks; 1,219 knives; 478 spoons; 30 shovels; 1,000 feet of electric wire; 600 feet of rope; 192 bed covers; 3,424 towels; 1,212 bed bolsters; 10 single tables; 76 benches; 246 water cans; 582 forks; 69 lamps.

My question was this: How do you not notice that much stuff going missing?

The answer:
Allied aircrew shot down during World War II were incarcerated after interrogation in Air Force Prisoner of War camps run by the Luftwaffe...Stalag Luft III was situated in Sagan, 100 miles south-east of Berlin...After several major expansions, Luft III eventually grew to hold 10,000 PoWs; it had a size of 59 acres, with 5 miles of perimeter fencing.

8 bloody kilometeres of perimeter! 59 freakin' acres!

This is a great extension

for anyone who uses Firefox

Everyone's Favourite Dragon

Everyone Should Get Some Sun

What technology does The World’s Online Marketplace use?

Gotta love the Fark Photoshop contests

Photoshop StrongBad in a Die Hard flick

Please make this movie

"I want to tread lightly on what happens over the course of the rest of the film on the off chance that Mary Parent or someone at Universal is seriously going to make this thing. There’s the eight-year-old-boy side of me that thinks that a DIRTY DOZEN-style mercenary team of hyper-smart dinosaurs in body armor killing drug dealers and rescuing kidnapped children will be impossible to resist. And then there’s the side of me that says... WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!"

An extract from a review of the supposed script for Jurassic Park IV. If this is true, it sounds completely mental - not to mention the kind of movie I'd pay to see.

Blurb Translations

Now, I was wandering around today, when I stopped by the video store that's near the Taigum Centro. I wandered in, wandered through, browsing the titles, when one caught my eye. It was a Hong Kong movie called 'Book Of Heroes' or something. Anyway, I checked the back to see what it was about.

The first paragraph went something like this (this is before the actual plot synopsis, mind you):

This Hong Kong action blockbuster stars Jet Li's protege Hak Ho-Sen. Watch his gravity-defying displays of Wushu as he executes a 720-degree kick - where he spins around twice before kicking his opponent.

Somehow, (and probably not surprisingly) this translated itself into:

Dude. If you see this movie, you will see people get Kicked In The Head. This is no joke. They will be Kicked In The Head, and it will be SWEET. There is no escaping this, or any way of avoiding it. People will be Kicked In The Head.

I actually think the translated blurb sold me more on the movie than the actual blurb. Certainly, the promises - nay, the factual statements - of people being Kicked In The Head, to my mind, are far more business-like and seductive than artsy-fartsy talk of proteges and Wushu and degrees of spin. I didn't rent the movie because I wasn't looking to rent a movie, but if I had, I would have rented that one. How can you say no to a movie where people will be Kicked In The Head? I guess you could always whine, "But I don't feel like seeing people get Kicked In The Head," but if movies that Kick people In The Head cared about feelings they probably wouldn't Kick so much Head. And where would we be without movies where people get Kicked In The Head?

Because when it comes down to it, that's what martial arts is all about. Not self-control, discipline, harmony with one's world/self, harnessing one's life force - no, the lesson of Ed Gruberman carries on.

"I, too, wish to boot some head."

That is all.

I bet Alan Moore never read this version of Watchmen

More here

Can you vote for this man?

It's a damn hard ask.

'Course, the problem is that voting for the other bloke is a pretty tough ask, too.

Home Sweet Home

Meet Leung

Who is Leung you ask? Leung is a Chinese dragon, and will be featuring heavily in my photos from this trip. You can see him below, with the picturesque Columbia Gorge behind him.

"Why?", you ask? To which I can only say, "Because."

Doom is upon us!

Well, maybe not. But the University of Oregon is in the grips of some serious recycling insanity as can be seen in this picture of the corridor just outside Kristy's lab.

This is just stupid

How this counts as news is beyond me

HILTON HASSLED BY BEES
Socialite Paris Hilton amused other celebrities at Sunday's Teen Choice Awards when she was chased by a swarm of bees.

The wannabe pop star and her best pal Nicole Richie were hosting the annual awards at the Universal Amphitheater in Universal City, Calif., when they found new fans in the buzzing insects.

While walking on the red carpet, a nervous Hilton and Richie kept trying to shoo away the dive-bombing bees who were surrounding them.

"American Idol" runner-up Diana DeGarmo joked, "Paris' hairspray is probably attracting the bees."

A cutting Marlon Wayans scathed, "The bees just wanted to sting her head because she's annoying."

[Listening to: Good Times Bad Times - Led Zeppelin - Remasters - Disc 01 (2:44)]

Fer Cryin' Out Loud

This is just downright silly.

Hmm, should I be expecting the Athens police to be beating a path to my door now?

Go Photoshop

More Gaming-Related Photoshop'ed Images Here

Kudos to Canon

Their $70 Li-Ion batteries continue to operate after taking an inadvertent trip through the washing machine.

Interesting what can be found on an id Software server:

http://www.idsoftware.com/public/patrick/FUN/
here are a couple of samples:

An actual important update 2

I'm not getting married.

Movie of the Day :)

Possible Silliest Move Evar?

TEAM AMERICA

[Listening to: Chemical World (Single Edit) - Blur - Chemical World [Single] (3:54)]

Update 2

Kristy and I are still going out
I now have my own place here in Eugene
I am officially a contributor to open source software
Update 2 complete

More From My Inbox

In the beginning, God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach

combined with an abundance of green, yellow and red vegetables. He did this so

that men & women would live long and healthy lives.



Then, using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Fonterra, Kentucky fried, Pizza

Hut and Star Bucks for doughnut dunking. And Satan said, "You want hot fudge

with that?" And Man said, "Yes!" And Woman said; "I'll have one too... with

sprinkles." And low and behold they gained 5 Kilos.



And God created the healthful yoghurt that Woman might keep her figure that Man

found so fair.



And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and

combined them. And woman went from size 12 to size 16 or more.



God said, " Try my fresh green garden salad."



And Satan added crumbled Blue cheese dressing and garlic toast on the side. And

Man & Woman unfastened their belts and enjoyed the repast.



God then said "I have sent you heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil in which

to cook them."



And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut shrimp, butter-dipped crayfish

chunks, and breast of chicken, fried in batter. He then produced steaks so big

each needed its own platter. And Man's cholesterol went through the roof.



Then God brought forth potatoes, naturally low in fat and brimming with

potassium and good nutrition.



Satan peeled off the healthful skin, sliced the starchy centre into chips and

deep-fried them in animal fats. He then enhanced the taste by adding copious

quantities of salt. And Man packed on more kilos.



God then brought forth running shoes so that his children might lose those extra

kilos.



And Satan introduced remote controls on television sets so Man would not have to

exert himself to change channels. And Man & Woman laughed and cried before the

flickering light and started wearing stretchy lycra jogging suits.



God then gave lean beef so Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy

his appetite.



And Satan created McDonalds and the double cheeseburger. Then Satan said, "You

want fries with that?" And Man replied. "Yes! And super size them; it is good".

And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.



God sighed and created quadruple by-pass surgery.



Satan chuckled and created the Australian Health Service system.

From My Inbox

(Don't know if they realy are from OERs, but they're still funny)



These are actual lines from military performance appraisals or OERs (Officer

Efficiency Reports).



Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.

A room temperature IQ.

Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.

A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.

A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.

A prime candidate for natural deselection.

Bright as Alaska in December.

One-celled organisms out score him in IQ tests.

Donated his body to science before he was done using it.

Fell out of the family tree.

Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.

He's so dense, light bends around him.

If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.

If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.

If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.

It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.

One neuron short of a synapse.

Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.

Takes him 1 ½ hours to watch 60 minutes.

Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.

Phillips Digital Arts Festival Winner

Click Here
Wait for the web page to load and then pass your mouse over the image a few times.
Finally, leave the mouse over the nose of the image. This website won first prize in the Phillips Digital Arts Festival.

Just What Everyone Has Been Searching For On EBAY

Adult Blue Ball Monkey Mascot Costume Expanding Penis, Annatomically Correct African Vervet Monkey Costume

Fashion Trends

I just felt I had to say that I hate Trucker Hats - and the try-hard posers that wear them.

BTW - Vintage doesn't make something special. All it means is that it's a second-hand item you've just paid more for than if you'd bought it new.

[Listening to: Star Shaped - Blur - Modern Life Is Rubbish (3:26)]

T I S M A R E S H I T F'n Awesome

Saturday night, both Josh and myself had the good fortune of seeing TISM live in concert again. IMNSHO it was a great concert. Rocking tunes, and insane audience, full-frontal male nudity - the show had it all. I managed to end up front-row centre of the mosh pit and learned a valuable lesson - never take your eyes off insane band members or you risk getting a boot in the face when they decide to stage-dive. Of course, part of the humour of the night was watching the long-suffering roadies repeatedly diving into the crowd to rescue said band-members from the ravening hordes. It was like watching the Christians being thrown to the lions the way the crowd attempted to tear every shred of clothing from the band - it's sort of a tradition.

Note to self: remember to turn phone off next time of mosh pit will cause random dialing of people in your phone book for you.

Interesting

Weirdly Interesting

The Matrix: Resolutions

The Matrix: Resolutions

I, Robot

Alternative title - "When Windows Update Goes Bad"

Rant Retraction

Some of you may remember a certain rant I'd made about 'I, Robot'.

I actually went to see it, and I can happily say that the trailer made the movie look worse than it was. I actually think it falls into the realm of a Good Movie - I've got one little quibble with it, and that's all. And for a movie based on something I like (the credits say, "Suggested by Isaac Asimov's book" - heh) only having one small quibble is a Good Thing.

The quibble is only this - magic spoiler ink - the US military are apparently tree-hugging pacifists in 2035. The reason given for why they don't show up to stop the robot rampages are they rely heavily on US Robotics technology. Never mind that robots can't harm humans, so would be almost completely useless for military technology. Obviously someone in the brass thought it would be a PR coup if the US military inflicted no collateral damage or friendly fire...

But this is only minor, and doesn't take too much tweaking to save the main plot point, i.e. the military doesn't show up in time. I liked it. Two thumbs up.

And Dr. Asimov lies peaceful in his grave.

Freaky Fish

Here are some freaky fish photos. Note: at the bottom of the linked page (below the images) there are links to other Freaky Fish photos.

Doom 3

...is a very good game.

Flogging a dead horse franchise?

I wandered into a local bookstore today and came across this tome.

And I thought to myself "That's a good effort from a guy who I'm pretty sure died in 2001". I double-checked the cover, and to my unsurpise discovered that despite the largest type on the cover being Robert Ludlum's, the book is actually written by a completely different guy. Must be from the same publisher that brought us "Tom Clancy's Op Centre"...

Run Schnizzle, Run Free With All Your Schnizzle Friends

This is from The Daily WTF, a programming related blog: FreeThisSchnizzle

DARKSIDE SWITCH

Click this link and then click "Darkside Switch"