Blurb Translations

Now, I was wandering around today, when I stopped by the video store that's near the Taigum Centro. I wandered in, wandered through, browsing the titles, when one caught my eye. It was a Hong Kong movie called 'Book Of Heroes' or something. Anyway, I checked the back to see what it was about.

The first paragraph went something like this (this is before the actual plot synopsis, mind you):

This Hong Kong action blockbuster stars Jet Li's protege Hak Ho-Sen. Watch his gravity-defying displays of Wushu as he executes a 720-degree kick - where he spins around twice before kicking his opponent.

Somehow, (and probably not surprisingly) this translated itself into:

Dude. If you see this movie, you will see people get Kicked In The Head. This is no joke. They will be Kicked In The Head, and it will be SWEET. There is no escaping this, or any way of avoiding it. People will be Kicked In The Head.

I actually think the translated blurb sold me more on the movie than the actual blurb. Certainly, the promises - nay, the factual statements - of people being Kicked In The Head, to my mind, are far more business-like and seductive than artsy-fartsy talk of proteges and Wushu and degrees of spin. I didn't rent the movie because I wasn't looking to rent a movie, but if I had, I would have rented that one. How can you say no to a movie where people will be Kicked In The Head? I guess you could always whine, "But I don't feel like seeing people get Kicked In The Head," but if movies that Kick people In The Head cared about feelings they probably wouldn't Kick so much Head. And where would we be without movies where people get Kicked In The Head?

Because when it comes down to it, that's what martial arts is all about. Not self-control, discipline, harmony with one's world/self, harnessing one's life force - no, the lesson of Ed Gruberman carries on.

"I, too, wish to boot some head."

That is all.